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Archive for the ‘experience’ Category

 

planning is angel cue. fun/useful for projects, pretty much useless for bigger things – like life.

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acknowledge the myriad of good deeds large & small you’ve done in the past. you’ve forgotten most by now but the ripple effects continue.

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you rise to the occasion, dear one.

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strange times continue & no experience in how to deal with them. frustrating & depressing. but know that erring on the side of caution when possible is the safest path. doing your best, dear one. all you can do.

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he sent old photos & thought about how happy you looked. much sadness soon to come, but serenely content in photos. he wrote Bob Seeger lyric: ‘wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then,’ on note. true in many respects for you, too, but not all. went on to accomplish wonderful things, meet wonderful people. inevitable trials & tribulations but have never shared his dark outlook.

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Dominant Hand: I sort of feel curious enough to read my old emails & notes just to honor my [business] endeavors. But sigh: not exactly cheerful.

Alternate Hand: curiosity is better than depression! couldn’t find niche but not from lack of trying. some fear of what you might discover because you were in varying stages of hunkering down. easy to miss signals & hard to be objective when that happens. could maybe pull 1 file & see how reading it feels.

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used to love to go to the annual Book & Paper Show in the old Austin Palmer auditorium. had favorite sellers who usually had books they’d found for you. whole endeavor was like a treasure hunt, likely of no interest in these days of instant internet discovery. this was very personal — still have old print one seller gave you because she ‘knew you’d take care of it’ — & filled with delightful surprises.

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there’s so much tragedy in poverty, & you witnessed it alone in [public assistance] clients’ homes when you were in your very early 20s. made a lasting impact & you’ve always fiercely refuted ‘welfare queen’ claims afterward.

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nothing is certain & never is.

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interesting that in ‘Nemesis’ Miss Marple can no longer work in her garden. turned her chair so she can’t see all that needs to be done. told someone that she ‘prefers flowers.’ you can relate to all of this completely.

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