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Archive for May, 2011

My inner critic was in overdrive about not posting a blog or doing more alternate handwriting. When I sat down to a writing session, I was extremely tired. My dominant hand wrote, ‘I don’t know if I have the energy to try.’ AH wrote, ok not to.

I felt a wave of relief wash over me at those simple words. Really: it’s ok not to do things that you don’t have the strength to do. What a concept!

Since then, I’ve spent many hours drafting blog postings. None of them has been right. They either feel like navel gazing or way too intimate to share with the world. I’ve been back into my daily alternate handwriting sessions, though, and can’t imagine why I ever stopped.

The other day I was writing about how to make this practice more visible to the public. My dominant hand wrote, ‘I wish I could feel like getting into the blogging groove again. I think that would be some sort of sign. What’s blocking that?’

To which my alternate hand replied, feel like you have to make excuses for your absence and they have to be perfect. don’t feel you have time. you make time for things you want to do. laundry a prime example! ‘compulsive laundress’ a good title for next blog. feeling like lack of blogs will be judged as lack of commitment. have always been rightly proud of blogs. cutting self off from them isn’t helpful or of service to you or readers. never of service to isolate — except maybe to Judge Betty!

Oh, man. Isolating myself gives ol’ JB full rein, or maybe I should say reign. She’s such a nasty chatterbox! To shut her up, I do things that make me feel productive. A major one is laundry. I’ve even thought of starting a business called The Compulsive Laundress. So that was a little inside joke from my right brain

I love doing laundry. I love hanging sheets on the clothesline, where they dry crisp and fresh. I love folding and sorting and ironing. I even love hand-washing delicate clothes and old linens. That square contraption in the photo above is a drying rack. I have two.

Does this pay my bills? No. Does this get in the way of doing other things? Yes. Am I related to Rub-a-Dub from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest? Maybe.

The thing is, I make time for it.

My right brain is always compassionate and always truthful. It didn’t berate me about my laundry ethos. It just gently pointed out that I still set impossible standards for myself and that, although I don’t feel I have enough time, I really do. That judging myself as a slacker doesn’t help me or anyone else. OK not to.

I also love blogging. I love getting an idea and writing and editing so that it’s clear and appealing. I love finding the perfect photo or illustration. I love the joy I feel once I post and know I’ve done my best. I especially love getting feedback through my website.

So here’s hoping for more blogs and slightly less pristine laundry.

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